How Generosity Reveals Your Heart

Have you ever given a financial gift to your church or a ministry and then regretted it? You're not alone. Giving is one of the most challenging disciplines and can reveal our hearts better than most things. Giving is one of God's ways of helping us become more like Him, and often the most significant personal growth comes when we get it wrong.


As a young Christian, I listened to many Christian radio programs while commuting to work in the always-congested Chicago traffic. Once, when one of the stations was having their yearly fundraising drives, I made a gift. I had been listening most of the day and thought it would be a good idea to throw out a challenge. I called the radio station, made the suggestion, and then waited to see how many people would join me in the giving challenge. No one did!


Later that day, as I was contemplating my gift, I had mixed emotions. It didn't feel like I had hoped it would feel. As I considered my thoughts and feelings, I realized my motivation for giving, although initially good [I wanted to give], changed focused when I suggested the giving challenge. It became about me, and when I didn't achieve the result because no one joined me in my challenge, I felt unsatisfied.


Attitude matters when giving. We all know that giving is not supposed to be about us, yet we can often make it about us. Two heart attitudes must be understood whenever we face a giving decision.


1. A Selfish Heart


Selfishness is the first attitude we encounter when we consider giving. We come out of the womb demanding and wanting our way. Selfishness isn't something we need to be taught, it's part of our sinful nature, and it must be dealt with. God spoke about this heart's attitude when he warned the Israelites about lending money to their neighbor. God told them, "Don't count the cost. Don't listen to that selfish voice saying, "It's almost the seventh year, the year of All-Debts-Are-Canceled," and turn aside and leave your needy neighbor in the lurch, refusing to help him. (Deuteronomy 15:9 MSG)


The Israelites had to cancel all debts every seven years and return any land they gained from a fellow Israelite every fifty years. God instituted this system to ensure no one would become indebted indefinitely and that no tribe would lose their inheritance, the land God had given them. When making a loan, God warned them not to take into account how much time remained from the start of the loan to the seventh year. He was pointing to the selfish heart that would arise in them and warned them not to listen to it because it would cause them to refuse to help.


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A selfish heart is triggered whenever we believe giving will somehow diminish what we have. This is usually based purely on emotion and rarely accurate. It's the excuses we tell ourselves; that we won't have enough for ourselves if we give. According to God, when we give, His protection, favor, and blessing are unleashed. The Scripture practically guarantees that when we give with the right heart, we receive back often more than we give. (Luke 6:38)


2. Grieving Heart


A grieving heart is the second attitude we encounter, and it happens after we give. Because we are not magically relieved from our selfishness when we give, and because sometimes when we give, there's still some residual selfishness involved, we may encounter grief over our gift. 


In my earlier giving story, my selfishness [wanting to make the gift about me] led me to give conditionally, which I covertly crafted [I didn't even realize I was doing it] to satisfy my selfish heart. When the gift didn't meet my condition, and I didn't get the recognition my selfish heart desired, I experienced grief over my gift. This is something God wanted me to recognize and address. 


In Deuteronomy 15:10, the Israelites were told, "You shall surely give to him, and your heart should not be grieved when you give to him, because for this thing the Lord your God will bless you in all your works and in all to which you put your hand." (NKJV) The way we deal with a grieving heart is to recognize our condition and repent. We must reject thoughts that we will not have enough for ourselves, believing that God sees our giving and will faithfully bless the work of our hands and ensure our future provision.


Opportunities to give are wonderfully designed by God for us to grow and mature in our faith. It's not abnormal to get it wrong sometimes. We're a work in progress. Don't become discouraged, and don't let guilt keep you hostage. Talk to God about the attitudes and thoughts of your heart. Repent; that literally means to change your mind and your direction. Staying consistent in your giving and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide you is the way to growing in your generosity and maintaining a pure heart.


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The Wisdom of Principles: 12 Financial Principles of Stewardship