4 Reasons Couples Should Be Joint In Their Finances
Every couple enters into a marriage believing and hoping for the best, and why shouldn't they? Marriage is a beautiful union created by God through which He intends to bless and grow his people. Unfortunately, many challenges come with blending two people together, and finances is certainly one of those challenges.
The average age of women and men getting married today is 27 and 29, respectively. Waiting to marry means men and women are bound to have more assets or more debt by the time they say "I do." This can significantly impact how couples manage their money after they marry.
Prenuptial agreements have increased fivefold in the past 20 years. They are not only for the rich and famous anymore, and it seems that more and more couples are considering the risks vs. rewards of blending their money.
I believe the rewards of joining your finances as a couple significantly outweigh the risks. And let's not forget, you've agreed to be in this together. Shouldn't that include your money?
4 Reasons Couples Should Be Joint In Their Finances
1. Unity
Trust is a crucial component of a healthy marriage. Perhaps no other topic can create conflict and divide a couple more than money. When there's a his and hers mentality in managing money, unity is rarely possible. Working together to manage your finances will build trust and provide peace, both in your finances and your relationship.
My wife, Natalie, supported me in our first year of marriage by working full-time so I could finish college. Years later, I helped her while she earned a teaching degree. Each one of these seasons has strengthened our marriage and improved our finances.
From the beginning, we've had all our accounts combined. We decided early on to see everything as ours rather than his and hers, and it's made a huge difference in our relationship and finances. It hasn't been easy, but it's proven to be entirely accurate, as Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 attests.
"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!"
Action Steps
Decide to join your accounts.
Close individual checking, savings, and credit card accounts, or change them to joint accounts.
Simplify by reducing your accounts to one checking, one saving, and one credit card account with both of you as joint owners. This will make managing easier as you navigate this financial road together.
2. Accountability
We all want to be known as responsible and trustworthy persons, especially by our spouses. Without accountability, responsibility tends to diminish. Having your finances combined creates opportunities to be more accountable to each other and your future.
Two benefits to financial accountability
The financial decisions you make will be more thoughtful and better aligned with your combined goals and dreams.
Any financial mishaps or abuses can be dealt with together rather than remain hidden, avoiding potential hardships and broken trust.
Action Steps
If you don't already have one, create a budget.
Do it together to ensure you create a plan that you've both agreed on and bought into, which will increase its success.
It will be the medium that will help you stay accountable to each other and your financial goals.
3. Achieve Goals & Dreams
Through my experience of coaching couples, I've seen a consistent theme. The couples who were committed and working together not only had similar goals and dreams, but they were more successful in achieving them. Shared interests bring a couple together, and compatibility draws them to each other. However, having similar goals and dreams isn't automatic for couples.
Similar goals and dreams develop as couples work together through every financial win and fail. It provides the platform to clarify their goals and make their dreams possible. Couples who manage their money separately have no such platform. Even if they agree to pursue a common goal, their contributions and the results will always come secondary to their own personal interests.
Action Steps
Take a vision retreat or meet to discuss your financial goals and dreams.
Be as specific as possible! Where do you want to be in 5, 10, 15, or 30 years?
Write your goals down and review them often.
Take immediate action on your goals by incorporating them into your budget and overall financial plan.
4. Balance in Saving and Spending
It's often true that opposites attract. With most couples, there's a saver and a spender. The saver, who, although still likes to spend, is more mindful of the future and desires to make it safe, sometimes at the cost of missing out on the joys of living life in the present. The spender is the opposite; a free-spirit who loves to have fun and enjoy life to the fullest, often at their own peril.
The benefit of marrying someone who's the opposite of you is that they help balance you out. Each person's individual strengths and unique points of view, when respected and valued, provide the balance necessary for sound decision-making.
I'm a saver who's sometimes so concerned about the future that I can miss out on the joys of living life in the moment. Natalie helps me find balance in my approach to saving, so I'm more able to enjoy life. I'm grateful to her for that! In turn, I help her find balance in spending, allowing us to enjoy life today without jeopardizing our future.
Action Steps
Look over your budget together and talk through each area of spending.
Are you saving and investing enough to reach your goals? If not, work together to make the necessary adjustments to ensure you'll achieve them.
Equally important, are you allowing for fun and enjoyment in your life by intentionally spending on the things you both enjoy? Set an adequate amount in your budget to get more joy out of life now.
In his book, The Power of the Other, Dr. Henry Cloud describes the benefits we get when we draw on the strengths and expertise of others. This truth is most evident in a marriage relationship. A couple who manages money together by drawing on and combining their individual strengths and abilities will undoubtedly reap the rewards.
For Further Reading:
Are Christians Allowed to Borrow?
The Parable of the Lost Son(s)
Better Stewardship Through Better Planning
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